Then They Carted Her Off!

"She said she wanted to look young again Mr Police Officer, was tired of the mirror flinching when she looked into it. "No, I don't know why she smeared mud on her face it hasn't made any difference despite the £1.99 she paid."
"What should we do to stop her wailing like that?" The neighbours will be complaining. What's she saying.....I can't understand..Oh I get it, she's upset that's it.
"What do you mean you can't hear her?" "Just wait till she stops swearing ...yeah that's it....."
Muvver looks up at the Police Officer, "You don't get it do you? she snarls at him. "It didn't bloody work".

What part of NO dont you understand...!?

I got hassled today, which to put it mildly was BLOODY ANNOYING. It wasnt by some juvenile with a greviance against society or some drunk desperate for more booze, it wasnt even by a Jehovah's Witness. No it was a Market Researcher. What is it with people who decide to become market researchers? Do they have nothing better to do than stop strangers in the street and ask dumb questions? Is that job satisfaction to have some person tell you to fuck off, isnt that a clue?

I've tried being polite, tried to ignore them even resorted to swearing but still they come, out in droves they are. Its worse when they're all from the same company, a few are at the top of the street then some more halfway down, then reaching the bottom even more are hanging around in a last attempt to catch you if you've managed to avoid all the others.
Five times today i got caught, all from some crap catalogue company anxious for you to get in debt. Perhaps i should wear a sign round my neck saying "Dont fucking stop me or I will kill you". It may work, who knows?

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The Satirical Muvver speaks out!: Does my bum look big in this....?

The Satirical Muvver speaks out!: Does my bum look big in this....?
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The Ex Mother In Law, watch it no cake is safe...

Does my bum look big in this....?

They say some people look like their dogs dont they? This is true i could name a few people except dont relish the idea of getting beat up. Still the picture of this thing is actually my ex mother in law. Delicate creature that she was used to eat all the pies and anything else for that matter. I did like her honestly but did tire of her trying to gnaw at my hands when i came to visit.
Shopping with her was a nightmare, the times she got wedged in doorways doesnt bear thinking about. Still she had her good points you could park the car in the shadow of her arse.