Tuesday 30 October 2007

Hungry For News!


As much as our dog Ollie hates the postman and anyone else who dares to deliver to our house, recently he's taken a great interest in world events.

So we decided to let him read the paper first.

Friday 26 October 2007

Just a Haircut please...not the life story.

Just had my haircut at the local hair salon. Looks alright I suppose, if I wear a paper bag over my head and go out under the cover of darkness. What is it about hairdressers and gossip? My local salon thrives on it, they can remember things you told them about three years ago, kinda scary when they relay word for word what you said. I hate that, last thing I want when having a haircut is to talk about why my brother is gay or why my ex boyfriend is such a bastard.

Micki the trainee stylist and as effeminate as Julian Clary on a bad day thinks he's in with a chance, do me a favour mate, fuck off my brother has taste desparate he aint.

During the course of half an hour, I've picked up loads of useless information, Micki suffers from headaches, Claire has split ends that she hates and Vera the dear old lady sitting in the chair next to me is as deaf as a post. I reckon she's putting it on just to avoid the interrogating questions. Wish I'd thought of it.

Sunday 14 October 2007

Mum and Dad's 65th Birthday in London.




Haven't been to London in ages, living in Hampshire and adopting the country bumpkin way of life you tend to forget the noise and excitement of a busy city. We caught the train to Waterloo which only took an hour, unfortunately it seemed everyone else had the same idea. The train was packed and although I managed to grab a seat I had the misfortune of having to smell an old guy's sweaty armpit for most of the journey.
Being me, I began to chat enthusiastically about deodorants and how wonderful they were, hoping this guy would get the message and stop sharing his sweat so freely.

As soon as we met up with Mum,Dad and Mark we headed for Covent Garden, by this time I'm starving cos I missed breakfast. Once we'd eaten it was nice to catch up on gossip etc and just chill out for a bit over coffee. PJ'S Bar and Grill is highly reccomended!

Mum and Dad were pleased with the presents we gave them and as it was their special day they chose where we would go. Clubbing and touring the strip clubs of Soho were definetly out so we had a wander round Covent Garden then along the Embankment.
I'd decided to wear my new boots and typically didn't break them in beforehand so I'm hobbling along behind everyone trying not to whinge!

We were going to go on the London Eye but the queue was miles too long instead we took in the sights and acted like typical tourists taking pictures of everything.
Mum and Dad were pleased that we were all there and didn't stop smiling all day.
Got home about nine tired but happy.

Friday 12 October 2007

Rejected...

My dream to have a book published is still a long way off. Helps if I've actually written it but give me some credit I am trying to string sentences together. Anyway I've found a list of people who have had their books originally rejected by publishers.

The Time Machine by HG Wells
The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by JK Rowling
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
A Time to Kill by John Grisham
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Seeing this list makes me feel a bit better then again perhaps not!

Wednesday 10 October 2007

An Apple for the Teacher!

Celebrated my 38th birthday yesterday with a gut bash at a local restaurant. Bloody lovely it was, especially since my mate Sam paid and drove us home after. Meant I could have a large glass of red wine and dribble down the car window on the way back.

Tomorow is my Mum's birthday, I always like to remind her that having me just two days before is present enough. Sadly this never works now I supposed to be mature and sensible.(!)
Have ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered which should cheer her up. My idea of course. If I left it to the men in the family she'd probably get it next Easter.

Looking forward to Saturday, a family get together in London for another gut bash this time in a posh restaurant so we're have to remember not to burp or fart, at least not too loudly. (Better talk to Dad about that!)
Should be good seeing the whole family together again after so long. I've forgotton what big brother Mark looks like.

My homework of last week was marked by my tutor, who said my current work is of grade B standard. If I sorted out the punctuation then it would be raised to a Grade A.
Chuffed to bits I demonstrated my appreciation by dancing a little jig round the coffee machine at break, much to the embarrasment of other students with me. Sod It I don't care I'm happy and at this rate I'll be accused of being a teachers pet.
If thats the case I'd better get her some apples!

Monday 8 October 2007

The Bus Stop Brigade

The cars been off the road for a week now and using public transport to get to work has been verging on painful, It starts off at the bus stop, same old faces same old conversation. From tommorow I've decided to walk the exercise will do me good and I dont have to listen to this crap! Heres an example between Mr Greasy Couch Potato and Miss Chav.

Greasy: Wheres the fucking bus, I've been here ages.
Chav: I dunno.
Greasy: I've gotta get into town, my turn to cook tonight.
Chav: What ya doin?
Greasy: Well Iceland have got special offers, probably get some grillsteaks or sumthing.
Chav: I luv them, you can get ten for a pound.
Greasy: Thats dinner sorted. Did you see Corrie last night?
Chav: Yeah, That Davids a right bastard aint he?
Greasy: He reminds me of your brother, is he still on tag?
Chav: Yeah, it's pissing im off though.
Greasy: I bet it is, how did he get it?
Chav: Weren't his fault, he just got caught thats all.
Greasy: You pregnant?
Chav: I'm five months gone.
Greasy: Is that your kid there? 'points to a little girl aged around three who's standing nearby'.
Chav: Yeah that's Kayleigh.
Greasy: Here's the bus, bout fucking time.
Kayleigh: Mum the fucking bus is here.
Chav: Shut up, god she's got a mouth on her.
Greasy: Oh bless her.
Chav; Dunno where she fucking gets it from?

Getting on the bus this conversation continues I stare out of the window wishing I was elsewhere, the intelligence level has clearly plummetted. By the time I arrive at my destination, I've heard all about Chav's boyfriend Mr Charmer, who's currently on remand for robbery and all the details of Greasy's stomach trouble. Hardly surprising since he eats crap for dinner.

I'm clearly living the wrong life, give me sanity purlease..!

Monday 1 October 2007

Cherry on the cake of my day!

I've been a huge fan of Manu Chau for years, his first CD Radio Remba Sound System is one of my favourites. So after five years of waiting for his latest CD to come out I was very keen to hear it.

Called La Radiolina my first impression wasn't good. So many of the tracks are short you just get into it before it cuts off and moves on to the next one. My favourite songs are track 12 La Vida Tombola, track 20 Sone Otro Mundo and track 21 Amalacuda Vida. This CD lacks the excitement that I expect of Manu and I'm gutted.

To add insult to injury I've just discovered he's FINALLY on tour in England at the Brixton Academy from tommorow till 5th October. Would have made a brilliant birthday present if I'd known.
Last time he toured in England was about 5 years back at Shepherds Bush Empire and I bloody missed that too.

I'm now chewing nails and feel utterly pissed off, talk about turning up after the partys over.
Since he hardly tours England I'll probably have to wait years to see him.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!