The thing about camping....you become a hedge mumper!

I do like camping...or at least i did. It must be an age thing as roughing it just isnt me anymore. Staying in Alisons garden in our tent to begin with was an exciting adventure, we could hear the chickens in their coop nearby, birds singing and the wind rustling the leaves in the trees.
As darkness fell, Alison pointed out bats flying above our heads, next doors dog barked almost constantly and it then started to pour with rain.
Tucking ourselves into sleeping bags i realised we'd picked the lumpiest patch of garden in which to pitch the tent.
No one could find the torch and wanting to use the loo in the middle of the night is not funny when you've no loo roll, i hate drip dry!
Of course Gary and Alex fell asleep so listening to their snoring and that damn barking dog meant i didnt sleep. The rain hitting the tent sounded like someone drumming all night and come morning i looked and felt like shit.
My hair had a personality of its own and the bright red nose i always have when camping resembled Rudolph, i'm getting fed up of looking like i've been sleeping in a hedge. It wont be long before someone sees me in the street takes pity and gives me money thinking i'm homeless.
Give me a hotel with comfy bed and maid service please!!